My sweet boy Leighton will be turning 5 at the end of this month. I can hardly believe it. Funny how his birthday coincides with Thanksgiving and National Adoption Awareness Month. At least to me it is.
Five years ago, at this time, I was pregnant and only myself plus one person knew about it. The one person, would be the babies other 'parent' and we were living a few hundred miles apart. Speaking terms were here or there and mostly for support and over the phone. I literally did not tell a soul, other than him and while that says alot about my secret-keeping abilities I know {now} that it doesn't say much about the person I was {am?}. Weak is the word that comes to the front of my mind. Five years ago.
When he came - my world was flipped upside down. I had a scary delivery & after-effects. We both stayed 5 nights at the hospital {only getting to meet the 3rd day}, and the next 14 nights together at home, my parents' home at that. I took care of the smallest and sweetest baby I'd ever seen. He was 5 lbs. 11 oz and 19 inches - thin sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. My baby, with alot of doubt and sadness over the decision that would decide the future of both my life & this innocent baby boy's life too. Five years ago.
That was such a scary time. I was with my in-laws in SD when my dad called to tell me you were rushed to the hospital and they had to put you in a coma. We didn't know the details yet and I was so scared. Just thinking about it makes me tear up.
ReplyDeleteAnd the decision you made for Austin (Leighton) tells a lot about the person you were (are) too, and I would most definitely NOT use the word "weak".